george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
