I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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