she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
