Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
