I heard we made out
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
