you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Will exercising make me less horny?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
