This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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