yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
