You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
