and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
