hell yes lets make some ravioli
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
