Dual....:-)
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i've created a new STD.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
