my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
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It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
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He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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