member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
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This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
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i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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