Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Just pee around me
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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