I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
