why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
