I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
