shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
