The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
