think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
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I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
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he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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