I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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