Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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