i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize