i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
