So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
