Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
