I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
