If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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