Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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