Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
