yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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