I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
