Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
