What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize