he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Why did my mother make you get naked?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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