He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
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Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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