you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
