just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
