alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
