We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
