We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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