Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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