How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
