Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
