Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
