He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
