He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
