Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
