What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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