i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
