i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
