bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
