please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My vagina is very pro this idea
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