you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
we're so committed to being not committed
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