Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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