I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
