so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
