Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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