Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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